~.*Credo in Deum, patrem omnipotentem, creatorem caeli et terra*.~

Saturday, August 19, 2006

*[[ HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO ME! =P ]]*

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! AHHHHHHHH... THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE GREATEST BIRTHDAY I'VE EVER HAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!! ESPECIALLY SINCE IT'S THE FIRST BIRTHDAY THAT I'M SPENDING IN GOD'S PATH...

Seriously, I've never felt so good in such a long time... haha... the extent of elation that I feel stretches out miles upon miles... It's totally indescribable... (and now I'm listening to the song 'everlasting' so I'm feeling even more high than normal haha) sigh... I duno where to start... I guess I'm really glad to have accepted God into my life... coz He's a constant inspiration to me... sometimes I still feel doubtful about whether to accept God, but I guess it's all about making the effort to build up my faith... I always think that only if my faith in God comes naturally, then it is sincere... But actually, over time, I realise that it doesn't work that way. Faith does not come like that. One has to build it up gradually. So... as I attend church services and CG sessions every week, I hope to learn more about God. As I am inspired by Him, and as I learn more about how relevant He is in my life, my faith in Him will then grow...

I'm so thankful for the brothers and sisters that God has blessed me with coz they're such great friends! In just a month of accepting God, I already find myself feeling a strong sense of belonging to the caregroup. Somehow, everyone in the caregroup is really NICE. haha... it's so vague, but yeah that's how I understand it as well... There's just something NICE about every single individual in the CG but I can't identify what it is. haha... maybe it's coz we're all children of God! haha. That's what makes us special. haha =p We're all very loving people I guess =) Sigh, I really wish this for choir man... At least, I expected myself to feel this sort of belonging towards choir while I was still in NY choir... haha. This sort of undying yearn to be with this group of people... haha. I'm thus really glad to be able to find this feeling in this caregroup and to feel the love of God so intensely... =)

Yesterday was such a blessed day. I'm so so so so so glad that God blessed my birthday with so many joyous happenings... haha.

My first day of my 17th year started off with a prayer meet at the basketball courts with the CG =) yeah and I'm so glad that it started out with God... coz He was the one who gave me such a great 17 years of life on earth. haha. so I'm glad to celebrate it with God first thing in the morning. heh... It's really nice to start the day off by talking to God... just sharing with Him my personal problems and worries and just having that FAITH in Him that He'll put things right somehow... even if things don't go the way we want them to be, we'll gain something out of it somehow anyway... After all, God has a plan for everyone and every single day He created for us is special. So we should just live the plan He has planned for each of us to the fullest. Like I read in Tracy's blog: Rejoice in every day that the Lord has made! heh. =)

The first lesson in the morning was swimming... I was really determined not to join in the advanced course as supposed to coz I was afraid that I'd be too weary to do the math test later... But after a while, the extremely indecisive me decided to change my mind and join the advanced people again coz the beginner's course was rather boring and I had too much energy to vent. oops. So I gladly completed my swimming test - 4 laps of freestyle and another 4 of breaststroke. haha. I'm glad that God spurred me on and kept me determined to complete all 8 laps. hoho. And He even gave me the energy to survive my math test even though the 8 laps was really exhausting. I'm glad He led me to make the right decision. =) haha. In the end, the math test turned out fine... God guided me through the test and I could feel His power and strength running in my veins... I'm glad He understood how much I wanted to do well for this test. YAY. haha, thanks Leon, Yong Sheng and Jonathan for helping me through... Definitely couldn't have survived if not for the studying sessions we had with the other church people as well haha. Even if you didn't help me much with the subject itself, you provided a constant motivation for me somehow... haha, coz everyone is so encouraging! =)

Heez anyway throughout the entire day, my inbox kept flashing the words 'no space for new messages' which was quite irritating coz I was quite bothered about deleting old messages every now and then to make space for new ones lol... kinda gave up in the end... ahha. Anyway thanks to all those who sent msges! Really thankful! Even those who just wished me a happy birthday verbally without doing any special things like giving gifts or whatsoever, doesn't matter la... haha. ya so GENE dun worry okae =) haha... doesn't matter.

Receiving gifts is definitely not a top priority on my birthday... and somehow I wasn't expecting much to happen at all... haha. I thought that the choir would celebrate my birthday the most wildly... But it turned out that it was the total opposite... lol... Maybe coz I placed my expectations so low that I was really touched by anything that happened... =p

Hmm my class did the sweetest thing ever! haha... During PW, Ms Tay was talking to each group about their respective Written Reports... and since my group didn't hand up anything this time (we handed in quite a number of drafts already ok!! ahha), and Sut Yee went home since she was sick (hope you're fine now!), my group just stoned... Leon lent me his ipod to listen to music while he stoned... and I just stoned too... Vincent was walking around I think =S haha... after that Vincent and I shared Leon's ipod... lol... then Leon and I were even talking about when I could return his ipod coz I thought I was going to stone all the way till choir while he played badminton or I duno what. lol... and so unexpectantly, Jason came into class with a birthday cake and the class started singing the birthday song... lol! And there I was as if I just awoke... totally not in the birthday mood. gosh. I kinda felt embarrassed that it was my birthday such that I had to tell myself 'Hey! It's your birthday! God gave you life and so just appreciate it and be proud that it is your birthday!' lol... ok yeah then cutting of cake etc and the exciting part was that the guys started playing with cake and smearing cake all over each other. ahahah. oh well. grr... in the end only left Wayne, Jason and Leon... I forgot who smashed me with cake too la goshh. I think it was Jason lol... ewwwww. disgusting cake. It was the cake I was eating la. lol. nvm had loads of fun la. =) THANKS 06S76 FOR MAKING MY BIRTHDAY SUCH A HAPPY ONE! I'm really touched that you guys went out of school to get the cake la! lol! Never expected it... just thought you all would sing a birthday song for me or something... lalala. Just glad to have such a GREAT CLASS! =) This class has been giving me loads of emotional support throughout this year... haha. Although I'm not especially close to anyone (YET), a sense of closeness in our class just makes me feel comforted whenever I'm in the presence of the class... heez. Xin Yi and I are always so excited to see if there's still anyone at our class bench after choir... and we'll be on cloud nine if we really do meet people there. lol.

hmm then in choir, the choir sang bdae song for me...while singing the chinese version of the birthday song, they held the 'zhu ni sheng ri kuai le eerrrr...' until I had to cut them off... lol... quite amusing >< la ="p" well ="p">gift of music that God has blessed upon us! =)

GUESS WHAT? After choir, my family actually went out for dinner together to celebrate my birthday!!! I'M REALLY SO HAPPY! HAHA, coz it's like the first time in one thousand years that we actually ate together AS A FAMILY! haha! I'm really touched =p ahhaa... and my mum actually GAVE ME A HUG! haha.., ok I think I may seem like I'm crazy to some of you but seriously hugs from my mum are soooooooooooooooo rare. My family is probably the kind that isn't used to showing affection...Who knows what I'm talking about? (quoting Pastor Jeff) haha... hmm well we had a great dinner at Jack's Place together! =) GREAT GREAT GREAT DINNER! hahaa. I think I can't get enough of it. hey, NOT the food ok! I really do mean the time I spent with my family! ahhaha. =D Anyway this year is special too coz my father never really wished me a happy birthday before... As in the time when he wishes me will be when we sing the birthday song while cutting the cake... but it'll be as a family... but this year he actually sent me an SMS! it just went: 'happy birthday.' But I was really all smiles. =D coz I didn't expect my father to remember my birthday in the first place since we're so distant. heh... =X sighsigh. really touched. =)

Today's church service was so relevant to what I've always been pushing to the back of mind - my relationship with my family... I've always felt that my interaction with my family is so so so minimal, which is so sad! =( but somehow, my own life in school and with my friends are consuming me such that I just tell myself how I'll always have time with my family next time... but then how can we look at things this way? God wants us to be responsible for our part in the family whether or not others in the family are responsible for their respective roles... well I definitely haven't fulfilled my role as the eldest child of the family... not much. And 'honour(ing) my father and mother'? I think I might've been quite disrespectful to them at times...such as raising my voice... the only good thing that I'm doing is probably thanking them...

hmm anyway church service today was so much better than last week... I felt that I was able to really lose myself in bringing Him praise... probably coz today's theme was so relevant to me that I suddenly felt how great God's relevance to my life was... haha. you know everytime I see how others raise their hands to praise the Lord, I always don't dare to coz I feel it's very extra... I know I shouldn't be feeling that way coz it's good that I want to express my love for the Lord and I shouldn't ever hold back anything to worship God... but oh well... I was kinda embarrassed... but at the last part I finally did it! hahah... so happy... I just closed my eyes so I didn't care if anyone saw me... coz all I wanted was for God to know how grateful I was towards Him... ah well.

Hmm after church service, I had a great birthday celebration by my beloved CG!!!!!!!! wooooooo. Probably never received so many gifts in my life. lol... I think the best gift was really the CD of Christian worship songs - something that I've been wanting to get my hands on for a long time ><><>'be smashed by cake twice on one person's birthday'... lol... hmm really touched la... and this time the celebration was quite big coz there were people from the other JCs too... like Jia Min, Xuan Ting, etc... hehez. so glad =) I feel quite bad that you guys did so much for just one person la... er... ya... but seriously no need to... as in, sometimes I think it's coz you all are worried that I, being a new believer, might just lose my interest in going to church or something and never come back... and so you all gave me such wonderful gifts to make me stay? ok... no la, that's v bad... but er... just wanna say... don't need to do so much to make me stay... coz... I will stay. and yeah when I've committed to GOD, I can't just leave... it's like leaving the family... leaving my own blood... leaving the one who gave me life... leaving the one whom I am able to place my greatest faith upon... leaving the one who allows me to commit sins knowing that I'm imperfect and so forgives me... leaving the one who gave me the opportunity to understand more about life... I just hope that my faith won't waver... yup.

Next week, Lim Mian should be going to 'visit' the church... =) I pray for her in hope that she'll find a new life in the house of God... a better, greater life where she'll be able to seek emotional comfort by placing her faith in God... and where she'll be able to find solace in the caregroup whenever she's troubled, while she gradually feels a stronger sense of belonging to her class... I also hope that You'll help her open her eyes to understand her life better. Being a rather shy girl, I pray that You'll guide her in learning to express herself more openly and completely such that she'll gain greater fulfilment in her life... And all this I want to share with her because she's been such a great friend in my life... and I'm thankful that You've given me such a special soulmate. In return, I hope to share with her a greater life... and I hope that You'll give her just that as she learns more and more about You... in Jesus's name I pray, Amen. =)

~.*hUiYiNg*.~ says Amen. @ | Saturday, August 19, 2006

~.* Jesus is LOVE *.~