~.*Credo in Deum, patrem omnipotentem, creatorem caeli et terra*.~

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

*[[ ]]*

hey I haven't been blogging for quite a while. Instead, I've recently been engaged in discussions about blogging itself... heh. anyway, after today's discussions, I still don't think that I blog so as to seek attention. In fact, I think I feel rather constrained while blogging now since I know that my class knows my blog >< heh, it IS a rather personal space. Those who read my blog will be my closer friends... and so in a way I'm just sharing my personal thoughts with my close friends. I mean, others wouldn't really care to read my long, boring entries coz it would be tedious. hm, but recently I found out that there have been unexpected visitors to my blog, e.g. people like Yi Huang...lol. Never expected her to read it or even pop by at all. ah well. I guess I blog coz I wanna archive my thoughts.

JAE results will be out on Friday, 3 March. I cross my fingers and toes and everything that can be crossed and pray that everything will turn out fine. but then again, must be realistic. So we shall just pray for the best...but most imptly, pray that everyone will have that emotional strength on that day to overcome anything that doesn't turn out fine. Anyway, to Claire: Even if you don't get to stay in HC, don't take it badly alright. Be glad that you've had a wonderful 2 months here with a great class and have made many new friends... take these 2 months as a long but meaningful and fulfilling camp in the holidays...and now it's time to leave. But then again, every beginning has an end - it's part and parcel of life la... It would painful for you to see us go on together without you for at least another year... but our fun together will also have to end one day mah... so most imptly is to treasure all the time we've had together yup? :) Anyway, in NJ/VJ?, I'm sure you'll have lots of fun there too ok? Don't keep telling yourself that your HC class was more fun etc otherwise you'll never be able to move forward... haha but then must remember us lah! okok out of point. =p we can always meet up in the holidays or weekends :) We'll all be rather busy...but I'm sure that we'll be willing to sacrifice some time for friendship =p heh... anyway I don't think we've been very close, but then I think u've been a v nice friend! U've definitely spiced up the life of our class:) haha... shall treasure all the fun and memories of 06S76 in Jan and Feb haha... mei nu! I duno how you felt about whatever I wrote to you in the letter for V day... ok actually I duno how most people felt... nvm... hope that was ... slightly useful? bleugh. but whatever I wrote came from my heart k! <3 =D

Anyway, it's 06S76's CT rep's b-dae tmr! So here's a

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO WAYNE!!! :)

haha...hope you get bonded tmr!!! hahahaa... it'll be a day of insanity man. lol but come to think of it, how many days of this year has passed without our class laughing?=p
To Wayne: haha, I still think the keychain says it all - that you aren't as innocent as you look =p or are you? hahaha... you really look like "MODEL STUDENT OF THE YEAR" especially when you wear a tie la...lol. makes you look so guai1. or TOO guai *ahem* lol! think it's your eyes la! yes yongliang and u really got the same type of look lor hahah..... maybe u've both got that "endearing look"? (lol quoted from my senior) hm anyway I think you're a v nice friend =p (ooh didn't I say that to Claire too? =p) ya but it's true la... haha nice to niao you too =p (and wayne will humbly go: "oh it's ok I'm sacrificing myself for the class... so wei3 da4 right!").......... ya and you are RESPONSIBLE and SENSITIVE...hahahah can't believe I said that to Yongliang in the interview. Are u touched? =p=p LOL. k la shan't crap. Hope you have a great - and I do mean, GREAT, BDAE!!! (hope you enjoy getting bonded =p oh man sounds sooo wrong ><)

hm. Anyway are we being deprived of love or just v romantic people? somehow whenever I go on MSN, I always see nicknames that are related to love... e.g. "Love me - That's all I ask of you", "I swore I nv love again... swore my heart will nv mend", "you don't seem to care what your heart is for", "mutual attraction", "just leave that crevice of the Heart"...etc! hmm, something to ponder over.....

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Hi Mian! I feel miles away from you... Don't even see you around in school anymore =( haha sometimes I wonder if you even think of me? lol. Can't help it... actually last year was also the same thing... we weren't close at all in school coz we were sitting far apart in class and recesses were nvr long enough to catch up with each other. but coz we were in the same class we managed to maintain that friendship by doing work with each other after school or on Saturdays... haha. Remember our many conversations over the phone last year? We were talking about how we would drift apart and all after finding our new friends. I must say that I've definitely drifted apart from most of our class. Seriously, whenever I see Jia Lin, I feel v guilty because I don't feel much towards her anymore. haha, ironically, when I see Jia Lin I think of you and Gene. haha. you 2 are probably the only 2 people that I definitely still feel very much towards, especially you. But after sharing all my thoughts and feelings with you throughout sec 3 and 4, and going through so many ups and downs together in that 2 years... how can I stop feeling that overwhelming tendency to just rely on you again...perhaps just so that I know you care for me... just so that I can swallow that sense of insecurity? bleugh..... so difficult to live life hor. esp when ppl like us think so much. haha. I really wonder if you are still the same old you. Sometimes I really feel v afraid that you've changed... coz somehow it feels as though I would be losing you... but then again I want you to change too. I really want you to open up and stop feeling inferior and to stop criticising yourself!! haiz this HC quite stressful, loads of smart people, loads of LOUD people that can get away and leave an impression even though they may not be that gd in studies..know what I mean right.but these people are usually v talented in other areas lah... then u always see yourself as not loud, not smart... like it's the worst category... haiii. Don't think that way la.. you don't always have to be mean/funny to be LOUD. heh. yes but of course I agree with you that if you are funny, it'll be a good headstart for you to start bonding with people coz others will label u as "easygoing", etc. ya but not everyone can be funny right :) so dun think that not being funny means that you are "the lesser sort" or something along those lines. coz you have a v nice personality. in fact u are v easy to talk to esp when u start opening up. so actually u should just try to forget yr fears sometimes and be more thick-skinned, then things will be easier. Dont think so much like we've always done. really not good coz most of what we think are not true or not going to happen anyway. haa to put it simply thinking too much = WORRYING isn't it? lol...we are so irritating hahaha... k la. just take things easier k? and you're welcome to share anything you feel disturbed about k? :) shall be there for you :) cya mian;)
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lol. so ironic. now i'm kinda "counselling" people. then other people will "counsel" me. seems like many of us are able to help others better than help ourselves. blahhhhh. ok I must stop here. what a long and irritating entry that wasted my time. k that's v pessimistic. Optimist will say "oh my! It's been such a long time since I've done such thorough reflection and expression of my thoughts!" errr, nvm. prefer to be old self sometimes. to diglett: ya sometimes it's feels good being sad. it's nice to stone and be dreamy. maybe what I meant by sad is being sentimental?emotional? I don't know. makes me feel more human than if I'm happy all the time. ok i duno. maybe on second thought I'll take that back. think i'm getting more and more serious over time... haha. weird. first question I asked myself was "Am I getting boring?" grr.k. as if there's a reputation that I need to keep up. yah but I guess everyone wants to maintain a good image of themselves all the time. Even if you are pessimistic, you know you musn't show it on the surface somehow coz you feel that people may start thinking that you have a weak character etc.
lol. I'm going crazy.
eternal thoughts.

~.*hUiYiNg*.~ says Amen. @ | Tuesday, February 28, 2006

~.* Jesus is LOVE *.~